


Living Without Her

by DaronwyK



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaronwyK/pseuds/DaronwyK
Summary: Sometimes when we're drowning, all we need is a friend.





	Living Without Her

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All canon character, plots, and situations from the Harry Potter series belong to JK Rowling. I am not profiting from this writing.
> 
> AU- Does not conform to the events of Cursed Child.

Deep in the Slytherin dungeons, there were dozens of empty and forgotten rooms; laboratories and classroom that no longer had a purpose or need. They stood silent tribute to whole branches of magic that had been forgotten and pushed aside in favour of more modern ideas. These rooms had become a safe haven for students in need of privacy and a quiet place to work. In one such disused space, Scorpius Malfoy stared deeply into a cauldron, the pale lilac of the draught reassuring him that this was indeed the right path. Tears blurred his vision momentarily as he added the carefully minced sloth brains. One sip of the Draught of Living Death and everything would just go away.

“Young Malfoy,” A deep voice seeped into the empty room. The silvery figure of the Bloody Baron shimmering through the wall.

“Baron.” Scorpius nodded to him, wiping away the tears still on his cheeks. It was generally believed by the student body that the Bloody Baron was mute, since he so rarely spoke to anyone. However, the truth was that he often found the Slytherins most in need of his guidance and tried to lend an understanding ear. He and Albus had both had many conversations with the ghost. A swell of pain hit him as he thought about his best friend, who he was actively pushing away. It would make it easier on him later. Or at least, that was what he’d been telling himself for months now.

“There are better ways to deal with your loss, child.” The Baron looked incredibly sad. “There are many that would mourn your absence, your father and Albus in particular.”

“I know, but I can’t make the pain go away. They say that it will get easier, that I’ll get used to her being gone.” The young Slytherin shook his head forcefully. “I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to forget her.” He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He was stronger than this. He was a Malfoy. He gripped the handle of his silver blade and began to crush the sopophorus beans.

“And you never will, but your mother would not want you to try and follow her into oblivion. You must know that.” The Bloody Baron shook his head and knelt in front of Scorpius. “I have seen so many young Slytherins lose themselves in their pain, unable or unwilling to reach out for help. Most of them were completely alone, isolated by circumstance or design. I could do nothing for them, but I can help you. You are not alone, young Scorpius. Why are you trying so desperately to shoulder such pain by yourself?”

“Because no one else knows what this feels like.” He bit the words out, slicing angrily into the beans. “Because it won’t bring her back.”

“Nothing can bring your mother back; that is true. I simply beg you to not make the same mistake I made in my own grief. I took my own life, unwilling to live with what I’d done. To live in a world without Helena. As penance for my actions, I am bound here forever. If you take this potion, it could be years before you’re found. Try and imagine your father’s agony when you are simply gone, and no one knows where you are. As House Ghost, I cannot betray your secrets and so I could never tell anyone where you were.” The ghost tried to reason with the young wizard.

Scorpius’ hands shook a little, tears blinding him as he tried to keep cutting the beans. The permanent oblivion the potion offered looked less appealing now as he imagined the faces of his father and best friend, twisted in grief and misery for him. Could he really visit this pain on them, just to end his own? He dropped the knife and began to sob, shoulders shaking as he released the agony he’d been trying to strangle down.

“I’m here for you, child.” The Baron settled beside him, unable to truly comfort him, but trying.

“What did I do that was so wrong, that I had to lose her?” Scorpius whispered into the quiet of the room.

“It wasn’t your fault, but you already know that,” The Bloody Baron said. “No matter what happened, you can always come and speak with me, young Snake. I will always listen and understand.”

Scorpius took a deep breath, feeling the ache in his sides from the harsh sobs and the salt stinging his eyes. Maybe that was what life was about, feeling pain and moving forward anyway. With a determined set to his jaw, he vanished the half-finished Daught from the Cauldron and ran a shaking hand through his white blonde locks. Maybe the ghost was right and falling into oblivion wasn’t the answer.

“Thank you, Baron,” Scorpius said and looked over at the ghost.

“You are most welcome, young Malfoy. Come, I will go with you back to the Common Room. I am sure that Albus is there waiting for you. You should not be alone right now.” The ghost stood, waiting patiently for him.

Together, they left the abandoned classroom and Scorpius tried to leave the thoughts of his vanished potion behind. He could move past this and with the Bloody Baron’s help, maybe, he could come to terms with the loss of his mother.


End file.
